What Is Social-Emotional Development and Why Is It Important?

"Friendship is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything." – Muhammad Ali

Think about someone you know who is well-liked. What makes that person so likable? Is the person a good listener? Does the person reach out to others? Does the person have a great sense of humor? Does the person seem to always know the right things to say? Does the person admit when she’s wrong and try to take on the other person’s perspective? Does the person stay calm in tense situations? The person you are thinking of is socially skilled. Whether you are picturing a family member, friend, or a staff member in your program, that person is likely socially-aware, empathetic, and self-motivated. This person manages emotions, makes responsible social decisions, and gets along with others.

There is growing evidence that social-emotional development is associated with better outcomes at home, at school, and in the community. It is also clear that there are severe negative repercussions for individuals who do not develop healthy social-emotional skills. Children who are rejected by peers or who are socially disengaged from schools and programs are more likely to experience delinquency, encounters with law enforcement, difficulties in school, and adversity as adults.

Social-emotional development represents a child’s growing ability to interact with others, to form attachments and relationships, to identify and regulate emotions, and to feel confident exploring the environment. It both impacts and is impacted by development across other domains, including language and cognition; research by the Harvard Center on the Developing Child suggests that mental health and social-emotional development affect the wiring of the brain.

What happens when children have poor social-emotional development? The answer is often challenging behavior. Consider these examples below and think about how they reflect social-emotional development:

The people in these examples have learned bad habits for dealing with unpleasant situations and feelings. Fortunately, just as bad habits are learned, appropriate social skills can also be learned, resulting in safer and more responsive communities.

As an outsider observing the challenging behaviors described above, it is easy to give examples of how we would have reacted differently had we been in the same situation. However, reacting appropriately in difficult situations is often easier said than done. Even those of us with the best intentions can sometimes find ourselves in the middle of an unpleasant situation with emotional impulses, rather than rational thoughts, controlling the situation. Learning how to recognize, express, and regulate emotions is an important skill for everyone, regardless of age or ability level. An individual who is motivated to learn, able to relate to others, capable of calming him or herself, or be calmed by others, will be ready to learn and experience success in school and in life (Yates et. al, 2008).

Watch this video for an introduction to your role in supporting social-emotional development.

Components of Social-Emotional Development?

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), social and emotional development (also called social-emotional learning) consists of the following five core components:

How Do Social-Emotional Problems Develop?

When children have confidence in themselves, they are more likely to handle situations assertively. If children have self-management, relationship-building, and problem-solving skills, they are more likely to make safe and healthy choices (Committee for Children, 2014). To be considered emotionally competent, children should develop a range of emotional responses. They must be able to adjust those emotions to satisfy themselves and to meet the needs of their social environments (Squires & Bricker, 2007). However, some factors get in the way of healthy development. Some children experience instability, trauma, or abuse. Instability in the home, school, or environment can affect the social and emotional development and regulation of children. When parents and caregivers dismiss children’s needs for comforting and nurturance, children are more likely to avoid interactions or become withdrawn. Children who are treated negatively begin to see themselves negatively.

According to Dr. Rita Smilkstein, emotions, thinking, learning and remembering are inextricably bound together. People with positive emotional experiences learn that they are safe, valued and respected. They have self-esteem and self-confidence and behave accordingly. With negative experiences, people learn they are unsafe, not valued and not respected. They have low self-esteem, lack self-confidence, and behave accordingly. High arousal can also overshadow and interfere with other brain activities, such as curiosity, concentration, and motivation to learn (Davies, 2011). Although it is never too late to learn new skills, it will take time, patience and a team approach from all adults to continue helping all children develop the skills they need.

What Are Common Misconceptions About Social-Emotional Development?

There may be members of your staff who think it is not their job to promote social-emotional development. Here are some common concerns you might hear:

• “Kids have all the social skills they need by the time they get to our program. It’s too late to help kids learn more.” You are most likely to hear this misconception in school-age programs, but the sentiment might also exist in early-childhood settings. Some people mistakenly believe that social-emotional development can only occur during a critical window in early childhood, but this is not true. While social-emotional development does occur with amazing speed during the early years, we never stop developing new skills and strategies. Staff members can help toddlers learn to play together, help preschoolers learn to solve problems, and help school-agers learn to resolve conflicts. Adults are also learning. You might have an opportunity to help staff members learn to assert themselves in teams or help them learn to listen to others’ concerns.
• “Social skills are something children should learn at home.” Families play a critical role in promoting social-emotional development. That does not mean that all learning takes place in the home. When children enter your program, they may be entering group care for the first time. This demands social-emotional skills they may have never needed before. Your program will have an opportunity to help children be successful and resilient in new environments.
• “Social skills come naturally to children. Everyone knows how to play.” While social skills might seem automatic for some children and adults, this is not true for everyone. Some children do not know how to get a peer’s attention appropriately or how to join in play. Other children might not know how to ask for help or how to handle their anger. Social skills can be learned. It takes time and patience to help children learn and practice these critical skills. Your program provides a perfect context for this learning to occur.

What Does This Mean For You?

Staff members will enter your program with a range of skills and experiences related to promoting social-emotional development. Some staff members might believe the misconceptions above. Other staff members may struggle with their own social-emotional skills. As a trainer or coach, you are responsible for making sure staff members understand typical social-emotional development. Then, you can help them develop programs that give children the opportunity to develop the confidence and competence they need. You must be attuned to the social and emotional needs of staff members. Be aware of staff members’ stress levels, friendships in the program, and social tensions. This will help you maintain a healthy workplace for yourself and your team.

Completing this Course

For more information on what to expect in this course and a list of the accompanying Learn, Explore and Apply resources and activities offered throughout the lessons, visit the Training & Curriculum Specialist Social & Emotional Development Course Guide. 

To support the professional development of the direct care staff members or family child care providers you oversee, you can access their corresponding Course Guides:

• Infant & Toddler Social & Emotional Development Course Guide
• Preschool Social & Emotional Development Course Guide
• School-Age Social & Emotional Development Course Guide
• Family Child Care Social & Emotional Development Course Guide